Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I see through liars

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Are there scientific studies that support the detox benefits of an infrared sauna blanket?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I just cannot wake up early, even if I sleep on time. What should I do?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

NASA discovers that Earth's twin planet, Venus, is not geologically dead - Earth.com

I don’t buy bullshit

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Measles strikes at birth: Six Canadian newborns infected from unvaccinated mothers - Times of India

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Belarus opposition leader Siarhei Tsikhanouski freed from jail after rare visit by top US envoy - Sky News

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fakery

Ancient Protein Breaks Biological Rules by Working in a Mirror World - SciTechDaily

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t cotton to rapists

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I’m worried I have a bat bite on my hand, I have two small marks about 1 cm apart. I haven’t been in contact with a bat but I’m worried about at night. My fingers have a slight tingling sensation and my arm feels cold but isn’t. Am I ok?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What are some of the best relationship advice for men?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What is the best case of “You just picked a fight with the wrong person” that you've witnessed?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Who is Harold Lloyd?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I actually pay taxes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I can read

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count